Der Witzethread II

[Frederick Steiner]

Ich sehe schon: Punkt's not dead.

[maxim_e]

In der Bäckerei: "Ich möchte gerne einen Muffin mit Schokostückchen kaufen!"
Bäcker: "Wir nehmen nur Bargeld."

[Wiwi]

In der Bäckerei: "Ich möchte gerne einen Muffin mit Schokostückchen kaufen!"
Bäcker: "Wir nehmen nur Bargeld."

Typisch Deutschland, wieder keine Kartenzahlung möglich

[Xenoom]

Ich verstehe den Punkt, den du machen willst.

Nun mach mal nen Punkt

[gruenmuckel]

[xAn]

When asked "How many trains have you derailed this year?”
The train driver said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”

[Civinator]

In der Bäckerei: "Ich möchte gerne einen Muffin mit Schokostückchen kaufen!"
Bäcker: "Wir nehmen nur Bargeld."

[Fonte Randa]

Lern Mathe oder ich geh' nackt zum Elternsprechtag!

[justanick]

Lern Mathe oder ich geh' nackt zum Elternsprechtag!

[Fonte Randa]

Die Erzieherin fragte in der KiTa ein Kind, ob seine Gummistiefel denn auch gefüttert sind. Das Kind schaute ganz betroffen zu Boden und nuschelte:
"Ich wusste gar nicht, dass man die füttern muss."

[Fonte Randa]

Papa, was bekomme ich zu Weihnachten?
Das, was der Weihnachtsmann dir bringt.
Den gibt es nicht!
Oh, das ist jetzt blöd für dich...

[Fonte Randa]

Wäre ich Anästhesist, würde ich in den Aufwachraum einen Kalender von 2034 hängen...

[Fonte Randa]

Natürlich ist die Milch noch gut! Willst du ein Stück?

[Frederick Steiner]

Wäre ich Anästhesist, würde ich in den Aufwachraum einen Kalender von 2034 hängen...

Das entspricht genau meiner Art von Humor.

[gruenmuckel]

A bar somewhere in the USA.
A panda bear enters, sits down and orders a meal. He eats and then draws a gun, shoots a man and leaves the bar.

A stranger who is there coincidentally is horrified: "What was that? How can you let him go? He shot a man and you do nothing?!" But the other people tell him: "We all know him, that's just quite normal for him, once in a while he comes and does things like these, nothing to worry about. If you don't believe us just go to the library! We got an encyclopedia there with an article about panda bears which says, this behaviour ist perfectly normal for them."

So the stranger goes to the library, takes Volume "p" of the encyclopedia and looks for the article. He reads: "The panda bear is a black and white bear living in China... Blablablahblah... and his nutrition ist quite simple: He eats shoots and leaves."






a guy rents a boat on a lake. When his time is up the renter calls out "Number 91, your time is up".
His colleague says "We don't have 91 boats". The renter turns back to the lake and shouts "Number 16, are you in trouble?"





A penguin is driving through the desert, and suddenly there's a loud noise and the car slows down. The penguin pulls over and calls a tow truck. Once they reach the repair shop, the mechanic tells him it'll take a while, but he can go and have something at the cafe a bit down the road. So the penguin goes to the cafe, and since he's not really used to the desert heat he orders a large bowl of vanilla ice cream to cool off. Since he can't hold a spoon he just puts his face in the bowl and slobbers up the ice cream, making a bit of a mess of it. When he's done he pays and goes back to the repair shop. The mechanic looks up at him from under the car and says "Buddy, looks like you blew a seal." To which the penguin responds: "Oh no, that's just ice cream."